The Parturient Excitation
by Annamonk
Summary: Leonard and Amy want to move their relationships forward and turn to science for the answer. Sheldon and Penny wind up doing it the old fashioned way. I don't own it. I just enjoy playing with it.
1. Chapter 1

Leonard watched as Bernadette frowned at Amy. The two women were locked in an intense debate. He grimaced. This plan required the participation of both of them. He'd orchestrated it all down to the smallest detail, but Bernadette was being far too difficult.

"It wouldn't hurt him." Leonard inserted himself into their conversation. "Right?"

"There were no notable side effects." Bernadette crinkled her nose. "But that isn't the point. We shelved the drug because it removes all inhibitions. There are just too many risks in using it. What if he decides to fly or poison Penny for breaking a rule? A Sheldon with no inhibitions might ride the bus naked. Is that fair to the public?"

"I need this, Bernadette." Amy grabbed her arm. "I'll do anything. I'll help find a way to make the drug work as your team originally intended, but I need it now."

"Amy, I know this is hard for you." Bernadette's shoulders slumped a bit. "But this is the wrong way to get Sheldon into bed. It would be forcing him."

"Sheldon's inhibitions would just be gone. He could still say no if he wanted." Leonard sputtered. "Amy's taking a huge risk to further her relationship. I think we should support her."

"And what do you get, mister?" Bernadette turned her glare on him.

"I get a Sheldon that will let me move across the hall without so much fuss." Leonard shrugged. "He's so resistant to change."

"I get that, but I still have to say no. It would be unethical." Bernadette crossed her arms over her chest and stared sternly at them. "Please, go."

Leonard grabbed Amy's hand and pulled her out of the lab. This wasn't working. It would have been easier if Bernadette had simply agreed, but plan B was almost as good.

"Come on, Amy." He sighed as they made their way out of the building. "I have a back up plan."

"What? Without that drug Sheldon will never give into his burning but caged desires and lascivious lusts. I need him." Amy sulked and stomped along beside him through the parking lot.

"I'm already getting that fertility drug for you without Bernadette's help. I can get this drug, too. I wanted to get it from her because I wanted her help with dosage, but we can handle this." Leonard patted Amy's shoulder. "We can both get what we want."

* * *

Five Days Later

Leonard was heading out of his office when Gablehauser clapped his hand down upon his shoulder. He stiffened as the man's fingers dug into him slightly.

"Just the physicist I need." The man smiled. "The department needs you, Dr. Hofstadter."

"I'm busy tonight." Leonard pulled free of the other man's grip.

"Not if you want to keep working here. The woman that funds your grant is thinking about pulling her money out. You might be able to save your job if you can get her to commit to this department again." Gablehauser shook his head. "As I recall, you have a way with the little old ladies, and we need every advantage."

"But I had plans." Leonard looked up into the taller man's eyes.

"Cancel them." Gablehauser smiled. "This is your career."

Leonard nodded sadly and pulled out his cell phone to call Penny.

* * *

"I have to be quarantined?" Amy stared in horror at the men in the yellow suits. The soft hum of the equipment irritated her. "It isn't enough that you euthanized nine months worth of research?"

"It's only three days." The man smiled at her through the plastic guarding his face. "We will contact your family."

Amy flopped into her chair and frowned. This was not supposed to happen. They hadn't prepared for this contingency, and she didn't even have a chance to call Leonard. all her possessions were being autoclaved or destroyed. She fingered the paper scrubs she was stuck wearing and frowned. All of their careful planning destroyed by one diseased primate. She slumped in her hard plastic chair and sighed. It was only three days. They would regroup.

Then her life would be perfect.

* * *

Sheldon took another sip of his beverage and frowned. The chocolatey treat hit the spot. Amy's mother had called to let him know not to expect her tonight, and he felt like celebrating. These endless date nights frustrated him. He needed some time to unwind.

He looked at his game consoles and smiled.

Halo.

He wanted to play Halo.

He wanted to play Halo with Penny.

He guzzled down the rest of his drink and grabbed two more before heading over to Penny's.

He just knew it was going to be a good night.

* * *

Penny smiled at Sheldon's signature knock. It was good to have him home. His little trip had left her far too much time to think. Thinking about marrying Leonard and surrendering her dreams had made her panic. Nothing proved a better distraction from the train wreck of her life than Sheldon.

Being around him was easy. Even when he was off his gourd and declaring relationship superiority. She considered the fact that her relationship wasn't working and frowned. Maybe he was right. He usually was.

Penny flung the door open and smiled up at her neighbor. His blue eyes seemed particularly merry tonight.

"Would you like to have an impromptu Halo night with me, Penny?"

She smiled and nodded. A little battle with the beautiful mind was just what she needed after a long day trying to grasp the intricacies of her new job.

"Here have a beverage." Sheldon handed her one of his precious bottles of Yoohoo. "I believe we should order some food as well."

"Sounds good, Sweetie." Penny smiled up at him and followed him over to his apartment. "Do you want Pizza or Thai?"

"I want to try something new." Sheldon smiled. "It isn't even anything can happen Thursday. I'm feeling wild tonight."

"Okay, wild man. What have you done with my friend?" Penny smirked up at Sheldon.

"I missed you, Penny." Sheldon patted her shoulder awkwardly. "The others are familiar and can understand some of what I say, but I missed talking with you while I was gone. It may be little more than talking to a pretty chimp, but I enjoy our time together. I must admit to liking your new hairstyle as well. I was against it at first, but it flatters you. It must be far easier to maintain."

"It is." She shook her head, letting her shortened tresses fly free. "We both needed a change. You went on a train, and I went to the salon."

"To change." Sheldon clinked his bottle against hers and they both took a long pull of the chocolate beverage.


	2. Chapter 2

Sheldon watched Penny bounce on her feet as she celebrated another victory. Her movements appealed to him. They had eaten Chinese from an unapproved restaurant, and he had enjoyed it. They had played Halo for an hour, and he had enjoyed it as well. He enjoyed everything with Penny. She bounced over toward him and spun around on one foot.

"I feel fantastic, Sheldon." She smiled down at him. "This is the best night I've had in ages."

"It has been quite entertaining." He looked up at her flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes. "I don't want it to end."

"Wanna go to a movie at an nonapproved theatre?" Penny waggled her brow.

"I see no reason to go crazy." Sheldon rubbed his hand along the arm of the couch. "I want to do something I've never done."

"Like what?" Penny bent and put controller on the coffee table.

"I suppose it is too late to go sky diving." Sheldon scrunched up his face. "I think we should engage in coitus."

She stilled, and their gazes locked.

"You're kidding, right?" Penny swallowed another swig of his favorite chocolate beverage and set the plastic bottle down haphazardly, half off the coaster.

"No. I did not say bazinga." Sheldon rubbed his hands along his thighs. "I want to understand why most people seem to think it is more important than physics."

"You shouldn't have sex for the first time because you're curious." Penny plopped down in the arm chair and smiled at him. "You don't even like to be touched."

"You touch me all the time. It doesn't repulse me."

"Just what every girl wants to hear." Penny pushed up and began to pace between the chair and his desk. "I'm not repulsive."

"No. I said your touch does not repulse me." Sheldon blushed. "Your symmetrical features and well proportioned body are empirically attractive. Your hip to waist ratio is perfect. Any fool can observe that. Your body is scientifically beautiful. I can show you the equations."

"There's math to prove I'm pretty?" Penny stopped in front of Sheldon and cocked her head to the side.

"Of course there is. Try to overcome your cornhusker mistrust of science."

"It doesn't matter. You don't like me." Penny crossed her arms over her chest. "I won't have sex with someone that doesn't like me."

"Of course I like you. You are a formidable prankstress, a fine video game player, and you listen to me. You sing soft kitty to me and you took me to Disneyland." Sheldon glared up at her. "I think you may be my best friend."

"You have a girlfriend. You two are the super couple. Remember." Penny nodded her head apparently agreeing with her own statement. "I'm not some man stealing, evil bitch."

"I will terminate my relationship agreement with Amy immediately." Sheldon pulled out his phone.

"You can't end a relationship with a text message." Penny shook her head.

"It is one of three acceptable methods outlined in the relationship agreement. I could also use semaphore or a telephone call. Neither of us wanted to be burdened by the emotional upheaval of having a physical confrontation." Sheldon smiled widely. "And Amy included the codicil that designated the opportunity to have coitus with you as a viable causation for the immediate termination of the relationship agreement."

"She did?" Penny blinked rapidly before shaking her head.

"She did." Sheldon nodded and quickly texted Amy before Penny could object again.

"You ended your relationship." Penny stood before him with a baffled look on her face. "For me? But I'm not smart enough for you."

"No one is." Sheldon sighed. "However, you have helped me amongst the fools many times. You appreciate me as I am, and I must admit I respect your ability to navigate through varied social strata. I have solved the problem of my availability, but you are still involved with Leonard despite your obvious incompatibility."

Penny blinked and fastened her gaze on her engagement ring.

"I'll be right back." Penny held up one finger before she darted down the hall. She reappeared a few minutes later without the ring.

"I left Leonard a note and returned his ring." Penny nibbled on her lip. "I don't want to marry him. It just seemed like the right thing to do."

"So, we are both single and willing?" Sheldon locked his gaze with hers again. "Are we in a socially acceptable place to continue?"

Penny nodded. A frission of excitment ran down his spine. He reached out to her, and she placed her delicate hand in his. Her skin was soft and he felt no urge to disenfect either of their hands. Pulling her onto his lap seemed the most natural thing he had ever done. Her legs curled on the outside of his. Her torso was just inches from his own. He raised his free hand up and cupped her cheek.

"Are you sure, Sheldon?" Penny stroked her fingers down his arms.

"I want coitus with you, Penny." He pulled her lips down to his and pressed his lips against hers gently. The sensation of her soft flesh against his made him giddy. She pulled away and ran her fingers through his hair.

"That was nice." Penny stroked his hair again. "Are you sure about this?"

"I don't know what to do. I never imagined wanting to participate in sexual activity." His hands trembled as they rested on her shoulders. "But I want you."

"It's not complicated, Sheldon. You're going to enjoy it and do what your instincts tell you to do. Clear?"

He nodded. Penny leaned her forehead against his. Her breath flashed hot across his face. He licked his lips and pulled her down, fusing their lips together. She pressed her soft curves against him and opened her mouth slightly under his. He clenched his fists against her hips and pressed his tongue into this undiscovered country.


	3. Chapter 3

Leonard heard the regular thumping of Sheldon's headboard against the wall as he entered his apartment. He grimaced as he tip toed toward his room. He was covered in that old woman's expensive perfume or he would have headed directly to Penny's. At least Sheldon was having a good time. He smirked.

"Didn't think Amy had it in her." Leonard whispered as he stripped of his shirt and dumped it in his hamper.

He sighed and grabbed his robe. He needed a shower before he went over to Penny's. She wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but she would smell another woman's perfume at fifty paces. He rolled his eyes. He really didn't want to spend the remainder of this night on explanations.

"This feels better than winning the Stevenson, better than creating a quantum computer. I never knew. I love you." Sheldon's voice rang out. The walls were too thin. Leonard scurried to the shower. He really didn't need to hear Sheldon's idea of pillow talk. He'd shower and head over to Penny's. His plan could still be salvaged despite Gablehauser's interference.

* * *

"I love you, too." Penny cradled Sheldon against her body and stroked the sweat slicked skin of his back. Each breath was a struggle to drag into her body, but it was so worth it. She kissed his shoulder and shivered in delight.

"Of course you do." Sheldon rolled off her and pulled her against his side on his narrow bed.

"I'm so glad you asked me over tonight." Penny pressed a kiss to his jaw.

"I'm going to need a larger bed." Sheldon stroked his fingers through her short hair. "And you are going to need a dresser here."

"What?" Penny pushed up on her arms to look into his face.

"Or we could look for another apartment." Sheldon smiled.

Penny blinked and looked at him, trying to grasp this conversation.

"I love you, Penny. You love me. This is not going to change." Sheldon traced a finger along her cheek. "I believe it is customary to live with the one you love."

"Are you asking me to live with you?" Penny raised a brow.

"I am. I will ask you to marry me as soon as I can find an appropriate ring." He smiled at her. "My Mee Maw won't tolerate living in sin."

"This doesn't seem too quick to you?" Penny bit her lower lip. "You're sure?"

"I have no doubts. We have known each other for many years. The parameters of our interaction have changed, but we hardly need to shilly shally about. I am sure you are my choice." He gave her the same look he did when he told her to get out of his spot. He was serious.

"You mean it." She clenched her fists against his chest.

"I nearly let you marry Leonard." Sheldon closed his eyes for a moment. "I never should have let him touch you much less propose."

Penny blinked and relaxed her hands.

"I knew that first day that you were special. I should have acted on it, but I let fear control me. I wasn't ready to face this, but I wanted it. I left because my world was destroyed. I was unable to study what I wanted, I was trapped in a relationship of which I wanted no part, and you were marrying Leonard. I had to get away from it." He shuddered. "I need you. You are the black hole at the center of my galaxy."

Penny surged up his torso and kissed him. Their lips met and he pulled her closer, clutching her buttock with one hand and trailing the other languidly down her side. A pleased whimper escaped her as he flipped them again and sprawled across her body.

* * *

Leonard stood and stared at Penny's empty bed. It was neatly made. She hadn't been in it at all. Where the hell was she? It was three in the morning. She should have been sprawled on her bed, surrounded by rumpled covers waiting for him.

He looked for a note, but there wasn't a stray piece of paper anywhere in the place.

He reached in his pocket and remembered leaving his phone in his bedroom. She must have left him a message. He spun on his heal and strode out of her apartment back toward his own.

The thumps of the headboard against the wall had resumed. Leonard grimaced as the image of Sheldon and Amy copulating flared to life in his mind. Sheldon was getting his whole world rocked while he had to search for Penny. It just wasn't fair.

He snarled as he grabbed his phone from the bureau. He'd turned the damn thing off to woo old Mrs. Moneybags. He flicked it on, but he never checked the screen. His eyes were focused on the shining ring and the scrap of paper upon which it sat.

He slid the paper from beneath the ring, picked it up, and stared at the pure white of it. His hands trembled. He flicked it open and studied the sparse words.

_Leonard,_

_I can not marry you. My heart belongs to another._

_ -Penny_

He swallowed down the bile that flooded his mouth and crumpled the note in his fist. Penny had broken off their engagement with a note. He blinked rapidly. He yanked off his glasses as hot tears spilled down his cheeks.

His plans were destroyed. He'd moved too slow. Penny wouldn't be the mother of his children. After all he had done, she had escaped him. The drugs had cost a fortune and he'd bought them for Amy as well. At least, Amy would get her relationship and a little brainiac. That drug of Bernadette's had worked. The thumping moved quickly toward a crescendo.

"I love you." Sheldon's words were clear despite the wall. "It's a constant. I will always love you."

"Oh, god. I love you, too." A familiar voice responded. Leonard whipped around to face the wall. His eyes flared wide in horror.


	4. Chapter 4

Leonard shook as the sounds from Sheldon's room died down again. He'd sat in the kitchen and listened through the remainder of the night. Penny's screams haunted him. He'd never managed to elicit such sounds from her. When would the damn stuff wear off?

When they finally emerged Sheldon was wearing his pajamas and Penny was wearing Sheldon's robe. Their hands were linked and swinging between their bodies. Rumpled and exhausted, they still looked perfectly happy together. Leonard ground his teeth, relishing the pain in his jaw.

"Good morning, Leonard." Sheldon smiled at him.

"Not from where I'm sitting." Leonard snarled.

Penny blushed and looked away, her perfect, white teeth pressed into her bottom lip. Her short hair ruffled out from her head in little curls like an antique gold crown. She was a vision, and he wanted to destroy her.

"Feeling the shame, Penny?" Leonard smiled insincerely at her.

"I'm sorry for hurting you, but I'm not ashamed." Penny met his gaze and raised her chin.

"Do you think he loves you? Really?" Leonard sneered.

"Leonard, stop this." Sheldon stepped in front of Penny. "We both hurt you. We are aggrieved to be the source of your pain, but denying our true emotions was no longer an option."

"Your true feelings? That's rich." Leonard chuckled. "You don't have feelings. I drugged you. That's the only reason you even touched Penny."

"You little shit." Penny surged toward Leonard with a vicious snarl. "What did you give him?"

Sheldon grabbed her and pulled her back flush against his chest. She stopped struggling immediately. Her body went lax in his arms even as his mind churned.

"The Yoohoo. We both drank it." Sheldon closed his eyes. He'd promised his mama not to use drugs, and Leonard had made him a liar. "What precisely does your drug do, Leonard?"

"No, I'm not trusting this little shit." Penny turned in his arms and looked up at Sheldon. "We need to go to Bernadette. She'll know what tests to run."

"Run along." Leonard flipped his fingers at them. "When the drugs run out and you two can't look at each other, I'll be here laughing."

Penny stilled. Sheldon dropped his eyes down to meet hers. Her eyes were distant, but he could easily determine that she was using the full force of her intellect. She turned toward Leonard and stared. Her gaze narrowed and her hands fisted at her sides. The small man began to crumble.

"You wanted to drug Sheldon." Penny tilted her head and watched Leonard stutter but say nothing. "Why?"

"I wanted him to let Amy move in with him." Leonard snarled. "She was supposed to be the one that went to bed with him."

"This wasn't a roofie. I remember everything." Penny tilted her head. "Where did you get it?"

"It's experimental." Leonard shrugged and stepped back. He didn't like Penny's sudden ferocity.

"You gave Sheldon an experimental drug?" Penny grabbed his shirt and pushed him up against the fridge. "You gave him something with no idea how it would affect his mind? Did Bernadette give it to you?"

"Of course not. She's too ethical. The drug doesn't seem to have hurt either of you." Leonard tried to slide out of Penny's grasp.

"He's probably one of the smartest people ever, and you drugged him?" Penny shook him like a rag doll. "What if you've hurt him?"

"Let him go, Penny." Sheldon swallowed audibly.

"No." Penny tossed her head. "I'm not done with the little bastard yet."

"When he voids his bladder in the kitchen, you will be the one cleaning it." Sheldon crossed his arms over his chest. "Need I remind you of his copious digestive issues? It will not be pleasant."

"Fine." Penny relinquished her hold on Leonard. "We will go and see what his wonder drug is actually doing to us and then I will finish this."

"Have you addressed your vehicle's need for maintenance?" Sheldon ignored Leonard's scramble for his inhaler.

"No, I haven't." Penny shrugged. "Is that going to be a problem?"

"The light is on, Penny." Sheldon tilted his head and examined her for a moment. "It is already a problem."

"Yeah, yeah." She waved her hand at him playfully. "Do you want to ride the bus?"

"The odds of your car causing me injury are slightly less than the odds of a virus infecting me on the bus." Sheldon sighed. "I suppose I must chance it with your car."

"You're just going?" Leonard struggled to his feet. "This is just done?"

Penny spun around on the balls of her feet. She took two steps toward Leonard when Sheldon's hand closed on her shoulder. Sheldon stepped forward and pulled Penny into his arms.

"This was over when you decided to drug me." Sheldon seemed far more threatening than usual as he looked Leonard over. "I have forgiven you for many things over the years, but this recent attack proves I was wrong. If this drug has done any lasting harm, I will notify the authorities. As it stands, I will be calling your mother."

"Penny, we were engaged." Leonard slumped against the fridge. "How can you just walk away?"

"It's easy. One foot in front of the other. I'm not going to feel bad about leaving you this time. You drugged Sheldon. It's selfish and childish. I'm no genius." Penny held up her hand to stop Sheldon's comment. "But I know you are not ready to be in a grown up, real relationship if you confront problems like this. How could I ever trust you?"

"I was just trying to make it easier." Leonard took a step toward her.

"I don't know a quark from a quasar, but I know the easy way is usually the wrong way." Penny sighed. "It's over."


	5. Chapter 5

Bernadette stared down at the results in her hand. She'd rushed the blood work and some of the tests would take more time, but there was no question that Leonard had drugged her friends with a medicine her lab had scrapped. She fought the urge to call her father. Sheldon and Penny might not want to involve the police. It would probably cost her job if they did. No one would believe she hadn't been his source. Killing Leonard or using him for experimentation that might require vivisection held a certain appeal. She would never understand why Howie had picked the creep for a friend.

"Leonard used a drug we tested a few months ago." Bernadette wrinkled her nose. "I talked with Amy about it because it had some extreme side effects. So, she knew a great deal about the drug. We scrapped the whole thing when we realized how severe those effects were."

"Did Leonard hurt Sheldon?" Penny watched Sheldon pace the back of the room without turning toward Bernadette.

"We never bothered with a complete study on this drug and we never would have given anyone as much of it as the two of you ingested." Bernadette tapped the papers into a neat pile on her desk.

"That's not an answer." Penny turned and fastened her gaze on Bernadette.

"There isn't an answer. I hate the fact that I can't tell you whado effects this drug may have." Bernadette took a deep breath. "But Sheldon isn't the only one that was drugged. I'm more worried about what's been done to you."

"Why?" Sheldon stopped pacing and turned toward Bernadette.

"Penny was given more than one drug." Bernadette looked over to Penny. "Her blood shoes levels indicative of long term dosing."

"Long term?" Penny paled. "What's the little prick been giving me?"

"A drug we developed to aide infertile couples. It's a pill. It works when taken over time, and there are no injections required." Bernadette looked at Penny. "I'd say you've been on it for at least a month."

"Am I pregnant?" Penny gripped the arms of her chair.

"There are no hormone changes that would indicate a pregnancy, but it's too soon to test for any pregnancy that started in the last two weeks." Bernadette took a deep breath and traced the edge of the paper with her finger tip. "Did you use protection?"

"Normally, I use a diaphragm and the pill. I made Leonard wear a condom, too." Penny swallowed audibly. "Last night we didn't use anything."

"We need to get married." Sheldon stood very still. "My mother will not let us be if we bring a baby into this world outside of the bonds of holy matrimony."

"You don't believe in the same things as your mother." Penny rubbed the back of her neck with one perfectly manicured hand. "We don't have to rush into anything."

"I may not share in my mother's devotion to her deity, but I will not leave a child of mine without a father." Sheldon stared at Penny. "We engaged in coitus several times last night and this morning. We used no form of birth control. You have been on a medication to increase your fertility for at least a month. You are pregnant. There is no other logical conclusion."

"We can't know for sure." Penny glanced from Sheldon to Bernadette. "Tell him."

"We won't have confirmation for another couple of weeks, but, Penny, the likelihood is that you are expecting." Bernadette slid lower in her seat.

"Well, then I'll be a mom." Penny started to shake. "We still don't have to get married."

"Do you find the concept of marriage unpalatable or is marriage to me that repulses you?" Sheldon took a deep breath and stared at her chin.

"I'm nervous about making big choices when we just found out about being drugged and a possible child." Penny looked at Sheldon quickly before glancing away. "My home town is full of couples that married for the baby. I want more than that in my life. I want more than that for any kids I may or may not have."

"The child is at least highly probable. Your cycle is at an optimal point for implantation." Sheldon rolled his shoulders back. "I accept your hypothesis. Our child deserves to live in a peaceful and nurturing environment."

"We don't know if there is a child." Penny surged to her feet. "Maybe the drugs didn't work on me."

"The drugs worked on you, Penny." Bernadette sighed. "Your hormone levels were elevated. I think you need to consider this carefully. Sheldon has medical benefits and he can help you through the pregnancy. Waitressing isn't exactly easy on the body when you're not pregnant."

"What are we going to do?" Penny twisted her hands into her shirt.

"We will plan a wedding." Sheldon cupped her shoulder awkwardly. "If you aren't pregnant, we can walk away or go through with it as we see fit."

"And if I am?" Penny bit her lower lip.

"Then we will get married and raise our child together." Sheldon's tense smile made an appearance.

"So, we are getting married for the baby?" Penny's gaze dropped to the floor. "Planning a wedding that will only happen if I am pregnant?"

Bernadette took a deep breath. The drug's effects were beginning to wane. Sheldon was pulling back into himself, but Penny's normal defenses were still down. The pretty blonde might rule the roost in their social group, but her insecurities were on display now.

"I am uncomfortable talking about these mushy emotions." Sheldon stopped a few feet from Penny. "Emotional discourse is a slippery slope. I will not become a weak willed, emotion driven buffoon."

Penny's shoulders drooped, and she crossed her arms over her chest. Bernadette frowned. Penny usually seemed very comfortable in her own skin, but her body language clearly displayed her vulnerabilities.

"My emotional response from earlier remains unaltered despite my returning faculties." Sheldon frowned. "There is no logic to it, and it's very disturbing to my equilibrium. We will have to manage this carefully. I won't have it interfere with my work."

Penny launched herself into Sheldon's arms. Her sobbing destroyed any chance that Sheldon or Bernadette had at understanding her. Sheldon carefully folded his arms around her and patted her back.

"There, there. Sheldon is here." He took a deep breath. "I think we'll need Raj. He spends far too much of his valuable time thinking about parties. He can help with the wedding."


	6. Chapter 6

Amy stared at plastic sheeting draped around her new space. They'd taken all her personal possessions and left her with a pair of scrubs. She took a deep breath and fought off the urge to cry.

They'd taken the penny blossom from her hair.

"I have a best friend." Amy wrapped her arms tightly around herself and took comfort in the sound of her own voice. "Her name is Penny. She's sweet, goddess like in her beauty, and she likes me."

"It's a good thing to have a friend." A male voice emerged from the hazmat suited figure that entered her room. "We'll see if we can get your family and friends here tomorrow."

"I only want Penny." Amy's shoulders drooped. "She's the one that gets us all through the bad times."

"All?" The man checked her vitals.

"Our social group." Amy sighed. "She's the heart of it."

"She sounds like quite a girl."

"She is. I just hope I can get to her in time." Amy scrunched her face up to avoid crying.

"Has she been exposed? Do we need to bring her in?" The man moved toward the door.

"No." Amy shook her head and sent her hair flying. "I need to tell her what her twerp of a fiancé is doing and beg her to forgive me for my part in it. I have to tell Sheldon, too. He is going to be so disappointed in me. I've betrayed my friends and science."

"Sounds serious." The man tilted his head and smiled at reassuringly at Amy through his plastic visor. "I'll see if I can get you a phone since we had to confiscate yours."

Amy nodded dejectedly and curled up on the uncomfortable bed.

"Remember that things seem a lot worse when you're sitting in here alone with nothing to do but think." The man draped a blanket over her. "Your friends will probably be more worried about you than anything."

* * *

Raj and Howard watched Sheldon cater to Penny in shock. She was ensconced in his spot with a blanket tucked carefully around her. He'd put on a Sex and The City for her to watch with only minor complaint. It was all very disturbing.

"Dude, he picked up her tissues with his bare hands." Raj whispered in Howard's ear. "Is he a pod person?"

"Bernadette swears he's not." Howard shook his head. "Touch his white board. If he ignores that then we'll know she's wrong."

"You touch it." Raj shoved Howard toward the board. "My visa depends on him. You're a citizen."

"Maybe we don't need to know." Howard shrugged and backed away from the white board as Sheldon's eyes focused on him briefly.

* * *

Bernadette glared at the paperwork piled on her desk. She'd managed to hang on to her job, but they'd dumped the clean up on her. Starting a company wide inventory was the work of minutes. The resulting reports could consume months of valuable research time.

At least, Penny would still get a chance to work for the company. The pregnancy would make it harder, but she'd be able to get health insurance without relying on Sheldon. The company wanted her under its umbrella; hoping shed be less likely to sue.

Pushing back in her chair, she imagined strangling Leonard. He'd never bothered with the concepts of right and wrong. He'd acted out. In a young child, such behavior was tolerable, but Leonard was a man. His actions had huge consequences.

She frowned at her desk. Leonard wasn't the only problem. Amy had been on the premises with him. Hell, she'd had begged for the drug. There had been other times though. The security footage showed that clearly.

Bernadette looked toward the door of her office. The lab was just a few feet away, but it could be light years. Until this nightmare was put behind the company, her research was on hold.

* * *

Sheldon was at his desk doing research. Penny would need special care. Pregnant women that hadn't been dosed with experimental drugs needed special doctors and vitamins. There were classes for birthing. He frowned.

He needed more data to determine how best to help her. She'd wandered over to her place when Raj had started going on about wedding fashion. The idea of being his wife wasn't the problem. She was quite clear on that, but there was something bothering her.

This chaos had to be managed. He loved Penny. He had for sometime in all honesty. His life's work and his ambitions could not be tempered by his unevolved emotionalism. His Nobel was still to be earned. He would have to create a new schedule to accommodate Penny and his progeny. It would be best to consult her. Penny did not like it when he was controlling.

Heading toward her apartment, he heard her crying. The sound bothered him. Her tears were indicative of an emotional pain she refused to explain. Was it something she expected him to instinctively understand?

His own emotions defied understanding. How was he supposed to comprehend hers?Taking a deep breath, he knocked on her door three times.

"Penny."

He knocked thrice more.

"Penny."

He finished with three more knocks.

"Penny."

Her door opened and revealed her red eyed and blotchy. She looked beautiful despite the alarming amount of mucus on her face. He pushed down the urge to flee from possible contamination and wrapped her in his arms.

"I shouldn't have let you come over here alone." He stroked his fingers through her shortened locks and sighed.

"I'm fine." Penny whispered against his chest. "It's stupid."

"I doubt that." Sheldon closed her door and led her to the couch. "You are intelligent. Your interests and skills lie in different areas than mine, but you are far from stupid. Thus it can not be stupid."

He sat down and pulled her onto his lap. It was odd how this no longer bothered him. The drugs effects had dissipated. His urge to hold her came from within.

"They're never going to believe you married me for me." Penny tucked her head under his chin. "My whole family is going to think I trapped you with a baby. They've always been disappointed in me. This will just prove them right."

He took a deep breath. He had never considered how their relationship would look to her family. His own would be shocked but overjoyed.

"I will call Raj. He can organize the wedding for tomorrow." Sheldon smoothed on hand down her back.

"I don't want to force you into this." She hiccoughed.

"I wanted to get married before we found out about the baby." He kissed the crown of her head. "I only delayed it because you seemed so distressed."

"I don't think Raj can put a wedding together in less than a day."

"He is an astrophysicist. It's his job to reach for the stars." Sheldon smirked down at Penny. "He probably has plans for quick weddings worked out already. He wouldn't want to risk a woman changing her mind if he coaxed her into saying yes."


	7. Chapter 7

Sheldon stroked Penny's hair as she slept curled next to him. The weight of her head on his shoulder was oddly comforting. There were still times he fought the urge to run and shower, but he finally understood the truth. It was a truth he had willfully ignored since meeting Penny. No part of Penny would ever do him true harm. She seemed chaotic at first glance, but the reality was different. She had a solid and constant core.

His life was changing, but most of the changes were superficial. New schedules and obtaining a bigger bed were the easy adjustments. There were new items to purchase. Convincing Penny that Justice League sheets were a necessity might require some effort. Closet space would be a problem. Her love of shoes baffled him. He imagined it always would. All these considerations could be dealt with and discarded. They were ephemera.

The other, more complicated considerations loomed in his mind. He was soon to become a husband and a father. Despite his education and his intellect, he had no earthly clue how to fulfill either roll.

The traditional definitions of the rolls had eroded for years. His own father had been distant and difficult. There were no discernible examples of exemplary manhood amongst his friends or their families. He had no source on which to model his behavior. His gut twisted at the thought of the overwhelming changes he could not avoid.

There was nothing he could do but prepare to the best of his ability. He would begin research immediately. Construction of behavior models from whole cloth would take time.

Penny would help him. She always helped him understand the social dictates of their world. Her ability to adapt and comprehend the things that intimidated him so easily would make her an asset as a wife and mother.

He closed his eyes and smiled at the image of Penny surrounded by their progeny. He would have to research optimal family sizes. A larger family would increase the chaos in his environment exponentially, but he found the notion oddly appealing. Penny would guide their children and love them. She would help him do the same.

* * *

Leonard downed another gulp of his foil packed cocktail. Penny mocked him for buying them, but she w hadn't asn't his problem anymore. He glared at the tiny space he would soon be forced to surrender to another.

In a few short months, his life had gone to pieces. Gablehauser had blamed him for Sheldon's brief excursion as a rootless hobo. His only real purpose at the university had been to rein in Sheldon. His department head was happily cutting the fat. At the end of the semester a newly graduated experimental physicist would be filling his shoes.

He hadn't told the others. He'd lined up another job at a university that geared itself to onward the liberal arts. He'd be teaching freshmen. Experimentation was over. His career goals were done. Sheldon had returned too late and been too reasonable.

Finishing off one foil packet, he grabbed another. It was a daiquiri. Those were good. Strawberries and rum were a wonderful combination. The person that created the daiquiri had done more for the world than he ever would.

If he had told the truth, he might have managed to hold onto a few things.

He closed his eyes and thought of Raj and Howard. His friends would have helped him find a better job. They would still respect him. There was no way either of them would forgive him for putting Bernadette in this position.

Using Amy was a huge mistake. The neurobiologist had been easy to manipulate. Hell, he'd never considered how much damage his actions might cause. Her dreams and visions for the future were as dashed as his, and it was all his fault.

"Really, it's all my mother's fault." He smirked and took another swig of his rapidly defrosting beverage. "If she had shown me any affection as a child, I might have trusted Penny to love me enough to leave here. If she'd hugged me, I wouldn't have felt the need to go to such extremes."

It was easy to blame his mother and his crappy childhood. It was easy, but it was wrong. He knew it. Penny had always gravitated toward Sheldon.

Thoughts of Penny and Sheldon filled his mind. Sheldon had always been blessed academically and scientifically. Now, the badtard would have it all. Even if they didn't get together, there would most likely be a beautiful and brilliant baby.

"It was supposed to be me." Leonard flung his drink packet across the room. "Penny was supposed to be mine. The babies were supposed to be mine. My beautiful and smart babies."

Leonard collapsed against the wall and sobbed.

* * *

Penny examined her reflection for any imperfection. How Raj had managed all of this was beyond her. The dress fit her perfectly and flattered her. She would never have considered it, but it was perfect. Elegant and enticing, the gown looked like it had been designed for a Greek goddess. Sheldon would know which one. The tiny sapphire stones Raj had the hairstylist work into hair sparkled and matched the ring Sheldon had produced at lunch. She hadn't expected an engagement ring, but Sheldon insisted that she deserved one. It was a non optional social convention.

The ring wasn't conventional though. He hadn't liked the plain diamonds and had determined her ring needed personality. He'd insisted that it be a star sapphire. It was lovely. The stone was flanked by two much smaller diamonds. He'd chosen it because of the Violet Lantern. She was sure of it, but she'd never let him know. It was the perfect ring for them.

"Butterflies." She smoothed her hand along her abdomen. "I'm excited, not scared."

"You look beautiful." Bernadette smiled at her. "And Raj missed his calling. This place looks spectacular. Are you nervous? I mean this is all happening so quickly."

"Yeah, I know it's fast, but the funny thing is I'm not nervous." Penny shrugged her shoulders. "I was engaged to Leonard, and I couldn't make myself look at a bridal magazine. I couldn't imagine our wedding or our future life. I could pretty much ignore all of that though. Enough wine makes anything palatable."

"How is this different?" Bernadette tilted her head slightly.

"I'm getting married to Sheldon Cooper. We're having a baby. I should be shaking in my boots, but I'm not." Penny smiled. "He's my best friend really. I can see our future in a very organized house with our children shooting off lasers or blowing stuff up. It's a happy future, and I want it."

"I glad." Bernadette hugged her lightly. "I was worried about how you were dealing with everything."

"I'm good." Penny picked up her bouquet. "How's Sheldon?"

"See for yourself." Bernadette gestured to the room behind her. "He's waiting. When you hear the music..."

"I'm supposed to make my grand entrance." Penny smirked. "Raj went over it and over it and over it."

"See you in there." Bernadette waved and disappeared through the door. Penny stepped closer to the door and took a deep breath. Her whole world was about to change, and she was happy. She was excited, but her nerves were just fine.

The traditional music filtered through the door, and she stepped through. There were a few people in attendance, but all she could see was Sheldon's face. His smile was wide and genuine. His blue eyes sparkled like her engagement ring. She started toward her future with a spring in her step.


	8. Chapter 8

Raj watched Penny and Sheldon dance. It wasn't awkward. It wasn't Fred and Ginger. Their love was on display though. They glowed with it, but then they always had. It was just that no one was really paying attention to it. He couldn't help but see the power of karma at work. It was such a joy to have helped make this day the celebration they deserved.

He'd been incredibly lucky to find a last minute cancellation at the Romanesque Room. The white pillars were wrapped with greens and fairy lights. The old Hollywood glamor of the place was the perfect backdrop, classic and romantic. He'd even managed to negotiate a decent price since they were willing to accept the same menu and decor as the couple that had cancelled.

They made a charming couple. Penny had grabbed a lovely sheath of ivory silk and worn only tiny diamond studs and her rings. She looked elegant and timeless. Sheldon was the one that left him stupefied. The tall Texan was so handsome in his black suit. His hands were always touching his new bride. It was oddly comforting to see him acting so very human.

Raj dabbed at his eyes with a hanky. He'd cried earlier as they added to the traditional vows with pledges of devotion in Vulcan. Penny had worked so hard to learn it. Every bit of work he'd put into this occasion was worth it.

* * *

Bernadette was drinking a bit more than usual. Howard frowned and examined his wife carefully. The wedding had been lovely. None of

the slap dash insanity behind the event showed. Raj had handled the whole wedding planner thing with disturbing ease. Howard rubbed his wife's shoulder gently.

"What's going on, Bernie?"

"They've jumped into this. A week ago we were pushing her to start planning her wedding to Leonard." Bernadette's lips twisted into a frown. "I was so busy trying to plan her big day that I wasn't being much of a friend. I took her medical history. She's been drinking far more than I noticed. Part of me is terrified that this is going to blow up in their faces..."

Howard watched his wife as she mulled over facts she wouldn't disclose. She tilted her head slightly as she watched the newly weds dance.

"I think we pushed her at Leonard. Look at them." Bernadette smiled. "Penny isn't as strong as we thought. She won't fight for herself, but she always fights for Sheldon."

"Or with him." Howard smirked.

"I think Penny needs this to work. I think she's loved Sheldon for a long time." Bernie sighed.

"Then we'll need to help." Howard pulled his wife out onto the dance floor. "Because the tin man may have found his heart, but he isn't used to listening to it yet."

* * *

Sheldon took a deep breath. It was done. He was married. Penny was safe and protected. The future was still beyond his control. He'd have to get things under control soon, but Penny needed this social ritual. He pulled her tighter into his embrace. Her head rested on his chest as they glided around the room.

His Penny would be back in no time. No germs or bacteria would deter him. Penny would be a happy, joyful woman again. He wanted her to laugh. He wanted her to really smile again.

Sheldon rested his chin on the top of her head. Her hair tickled his chin. He drew her scent into his lungs and smiled. The primitive parts of him were uniquely satisfied. His woman was in his arms. Her body would ripen with his seed. There was something to be said for biology after all.

"I don't know half of these people." Penny leaned back and looked up into his eyes.

"Raj appears to have invited the entire faculty and some of the grad students. There are some of our paintball associates. The various physics departments from every local institutions are well represented. I think he wanted to fill the seats." Sheldon tucked a stray lock back away from her forehead.

"I thought we'd just have some little dinner with our friends." She shook her head and grinned. "Raj always goes for the big bang."

"The Big Bang indeed." Sheldon chuckled. "I hope he let Bernadette pack your overnight bag."

"What bag?" Penny smiled up at him and raised her eyebrows.

"It is my understanding that a honeymoon is a non optional social custom. I decided to take you away for the weekend. Bernadette worked out your shifts at the restaurant. Everything is set." He shifted his hold on her waist and moved them in a slightly faster spin.

"Let me guess. We're taking the train." Penny grinned up at him.

"Bernadette told you." Sheldon pulled them to a stop in the middle of the dance floor. "They promised it would remain my surprise."

"Bernadette told me nothing." Penny stroked the side of his face gently. "I figured that out all by myself."

"We will be staying at a hotel tonight." Sheldon leaned into her touch. "Then we will take the Coast Starlight. I thought a train up the coast would be suitably romantic for you."

"I'm sure it will be." Penny dropped her hand to his shoulder, and they started to dance again. "I can't imagine a better honeymoon for the two of us. Thank you."

Sheldon relaxed as they moved carefully around the dance floor. He was glad Raj had made such a production of this day. Penny deserved to look back on this and know she was loved. He knew that life with him would be daunting, but she was his Penny. His fingers grasped her a bit tighter. She wanted to take the train with him. He leaned his head on top of hers.

"Tell me about our train." Penny leaned against his chest.

"The Coast Starlight began service in 1971." He felt her nod against his chest and grinned. His wife wanted him to talk about trains. It really was the perfect day.


End file.
